


Blind Rage

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Canon, Drama, Episode Related, Ethan Gold Bashing, Improv, M/M, Romance, Season/Series 02, Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-09-06
Updated: 2006-01-12
Packaged: 2018-12-27 04:24:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12073464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Ethan can't take no for an answer. During which Brian and Justin's non-relationship takes a turning point.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

* * *

A/N : Oh, fuck. It seems that two of us (May & Stace again :D) have WAY too much time on our hands. Especially, when we are together. LOL Again, there was alcohol. There were toys. And trust me, it's a long story. Half of which we don't even remember. *grins* But, hopefully, you guys will like what came out of it. *sighs* Timeline is set in Ep 220. Things took a different turn this time around. ;)

* * *

**CHAPTER ONE**

_But I'm trapped by your love, and I'm chained to your side_

Try as he might, he could not get the blonde bombshell out of his mind. Justin had wiggled into his heart and found a permanent place there and Ethan knew he had fucked things up. He'd checked the Liberty Diner, but didn't find Justin, though it did came to his mind, that there was suppose to be some sort of special advertising thing, that Brian had come up with for the comic book. So, that's where he headed and no sooner had he got inside of Babylon, he saw the dejected face of Justin. Immediately he went to his baby's side and reached out a hand to touch his shoulder. Justin shied away at first, not paying any attention to where he was going. All he could remember was looking through the chain link fence and seeing Brian fuck his alter ego. That was a hell of a send off. _'What the fuck was Brian thinking? Payback? Get the fuck out of my life?'_ Dazed and alot confused, he decided to leave and get some fresh air. Just then, Ethan showed up in front of him.

 

"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked with a scowl on his cherub features. 

 

Gone was the sunshine smile and it had been like that for weeks now. 

 

"I wanted tooo...." sigh "I want you back Justin. I love you." Justin just shook his head.

 

"You haven't a clue what love is, Ethan. It's not about sprouting off pretty words, that you think someone wants to hear. It's not about roses and violin music. It's not even about the sex. It's about the actions more so, then the words. It's holding one's hand, when walking down the street, because they are so fucking scared someone is going to bash them. It's about taking the time to toss a ball around to strengthen a hand. It's about giving someone a computer to help them live out a dream. Paying for college tuition so they can be the best homosexual they can possibly be. It's about ice cream kisses and prom dances.....you wouldn't understand." snapped Justin. 

 

"Though I am glad this all happened with you and me....It showed me what I didn't want to do and that's to be with **You**." He brushed by Ethan determined to walk out the door, but he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder 

 

"I can't just let you walk away from me Justin." The blonde shoved the hand away. 

 

"You can and you will." Despite several pissed off patrons later, that were shoved out of the way, Justin was indeed outside of Babylon, determined to walk to Daphne's. He certainly was NOT staying with Brian tonight, when he heard foot steps fall in behind him. 

 

"At least, let me give you a ride somewhere, Justin." 

 

Meanwhile, Brian was walking out of the backroom back to the dance floor. He was painfully aware, that what he just did will be the final nail in his and Justin's relationship. Yes, he did actually admit it. They are in a relationship. Really, the only relationship, that was really about him and that other person, and not just about that other person. Like it was with Michael. Sure, he loved Michael, since they were like two musketeers since they were 14, but when he now thought about all their conversations, all those hours they spent in each others company, things looked completely different. He wasn't aware of that, before Justin entered his life. Simply because he didn't have anything to compare it with. Because, as much as Mikey was his best friend, it seemed as if it was all about Mikey`s needs. About how much Brian didn't listen to him, about how much entire world was against him. About how much Brian wouldn't ever change. Wasn't capable of change. And Brian took it all lying down. And not in the positive way. 

 

He took it, just like he took all those beatings his father graced him with. Without saying a fucking word. Just like he took all his mother's hateful words, as she, again and again, shoved her damn Bible in his face. He took it all like a man. And he just wasn't that. Inside, he just felt like that four year old, whose father just slapped him for not putting away the toys he got for Christmas from his grandma. Like a ten year old, who just got pushed heavily into a kitchen's wall, for being late from school. Or like a fourteen year old boy, who doesn't want to go home, because his mother is dead drunk on the couch in the living room and his father is on a rampage, trying to cure his own misgivings and shattered dreams by killing the only son he had. And he knows, that Justin could've changed all that. Could've made him forget all those things, if only for few moments. And now, that hope's gone too. He might as well face it. It's over. Justin will never come back. So, he decided. He might as well go home. Noone will we there waiting for him tonight anyway. Surrendering himself to darkness of his mood, he set off to the exit. And thats when he heard it.

 

_"You haven't a clue what love is, Ethan. It's not about sprouting off pretty words that you think someone wants to hear. It's not about roses and violin music. It's not even about the sex. It's about the actions more so then the words. Its holding ones hand when walking down the street because they are so fucking scared someone is going to bash them. It's about taking time to toss a ball around to strengthen a hand. It's about giving someone a computer to help them live out a dream. Paying for college tuition so they can be the best homosexual they can possibly be. Its about ice cream kisses and prom dances.....you wouldn't understand."_ Brian felt like the daze he was in, had grown to a deeper fog, when he overheard those heated words of Justin and he couldn't move. Hell, he couldn't even fucking breathe, if the truth be told. _'Even after what he witnessed and he still feels that strongly about me?'_

 

Brushing by the people in front of him, minutes between Justin and Ian whatever the fuck, his feet carried him outside and towards the alley, where he could still hear the two men talking. He shouldn't be listening. Hell, he cut the ties that binded, right? Justin was gone and now he could get his life back to normal before the twink stage. But, his body refused to cooperate and so instead of walking away, he was standing at the other end of the alley like some nelly bottom eves dropping on his ....what the fuck is Justin to him again? ...um...boyfriend? uh no. Partner? hell no...lover? _'That would mean I had to love him...shit... '_

 

"No, Ethan. I don't want a ride with you. Whatever it was between us, it's over." Justin sighed and glanced over at Ethan 

 

"I'm sorry if that hurts you, but if I'm not true to myself, then I can never be true to anyone else." Ethan lifted out a pleading hand 

 

"So, you're going back to that asshole?" It was clear the violinist was pissed. Justin's eyes narrowed, blue hues taking on a darker hue. 

 

"Don't call him that!" he snapped. 

 

"What?....Asshole? Look at how he treats you! I could treat so much better and I have!" Those heartfelt pleas were falling on deaf ears, as Justin just shook his head.

 

"You're just like everyone else Ethan....You don't know who Brian really is...." another sigh followed 

 

"And there, for awhile, I forgot who the real Brian is, but I remember now and that's what I want....who I want." Ethan stepped closer to Justin, then bordering on intense rage. 

 

"Fuck you, Justin! Fuck YOU!" His right hand balled into a tight fist and with all his strength, he drawed back and punched Justin in the face, narrowly missing the faded jagged scar at his temple, causing the blonde to stumble back. Small trickle of blood seeped between his fingers, where his hand now covered the wound. Ethan in horror glanced down at the ring on his finger and then the blood on Justin's hand. 

 

"Justin..."

 

When Brian saw that, he felt like it was all happening again. Justin was so close, and at the same time, so far away. And before Brian had the time to react, try to do something, it happened. He could actually feel the hit. Feel the moment the hand came into contact with Justin's face. The pain. Somehow, he managed to get his legs to work and ran to Justin, who was leaning heavily onto the wall, drops of blood trickling down his face. He panicked like only once before in his life. The Prom. One night of happiness, that turned into the worst thing that ever happened in his life. 

 

Gently, he turned Justin around to see how serious the damage was. The blond was holding a hand to the temple, pained look on his face His eyes were closed shut. 

 

"Oh, God, Justin. Look at me, please." Justin just groggily shook his head, unable to open his eyes. 

 

Something was terribly wrong. Both of them knew it. Brian couldn't control himself anymore. He blew up at the one person he could. And that deserved this kind of treatment. 

 

"What is your damn problem? What? He says no to you, so you thought you could get him to return by beating the crap out of him?" Once those words were out there, Ethan was as horrified as Brian was. 

 

He started to shake his head erratically, denial setting in. 

 

"No, no, I didn`t want to-....I never wanted to hurt him! Please, I really didn't!" Brian was so close to shoving his fist down Ian's throat, that it wasn't even funny. He knew, that. if he laid a hand on the boy, he would probably beat the shit out him. So, he tried to concentrate on the young man in his arms and whispered into his ear. 

 

"Justin, does your head hurt?" Nothing. "Justin?" The same expression of terror, that was on Justin's features was on his face too. Especially when those blue eyes were finally directed at him. 

 

"Bri..." Brian leaned in closer. "What is it? Tell me." Blue eyes blinked the tears away. 

 

"I can't see you." Came out a broken whisper. 

 

That was not at all what he expected to hear. But, he just pulled Justin closer and took out the handkerchief to try and clean out the blood from Justin's face. 

 

"It's ok, sunshine. Everything will be alright." If only he was able to believe his own words for once.

 

"Oh God. I'm so sorry Justin. I didn't mean to....." Ethan`s words trailing off. 

 

The mere expression alone, settling on Brian's features were cold enough to rival the waters of the Artic Ocean. 

 

"Back. the. Fuck. Off. Ian." The words spoken between clenched teeth and all Justin could do was bury himself closer to Brian, seeking the warmth and closeness of his older lover. 

 

"Just go away, Ethan." came the muffled words against Brian's shirt. 

 

Ethan reached out to touch Justin, but his hand was caught and wrenched back at an awkward angle. No words were spoken, as the two dark haired males looked into each others eyes. The predatorial gaze of hazel met with frightened brown and once his hand was released, he backed off and gave them passage. The two lovers never saw a broken Ethan lean back against the wall and crumble to the ground amidst trash and stained condoms, spewing about. But then again, it was no less then he deserved. 

 

"Bri…" a hushed whisper spoke hoarsely against the others chest "Don't let me go." 

 

Brian did the only thing he could do at the time. He swung the young man into his arms and carried him to the jeep. The hospital their destination. 

 

"I won't, Sunshine. Not this time."


	2. Blind Rage

* * *

A/N : Ok, you asked for the good stuff, and hopefully we delievered. Again, there was alcohol and toys. Trust me, you don't wanna know all the dirty details. *grins* But, hopefully, you guys will enjoy this one as much as you the the first chapter. *sighs* Also, I wanted to offer my sincerest thanks from both of us for all the great feedback you guys left. You made us very, very happy. Um, keep doing that, ok? ;)

* * *

**CHAPTER TWO**

_Every dog has his day, but the nights are for the cats like me_

“You guys…” His voice trailed off and sighed deeply.

“Come on, honey. Drink some of this juice. It’s good for you.” Jennifer murmured in her best soothing tone and brought the straw up to his lips, which was promptly batted away.

“I’m not an invalid. I can feed myself.” Muttered Justin.

“Sunshine…” Replied Debbie's sing-song voice amidst popping her gum. 

“Your mom is only trying to help.” Stated Deb, as she reached to adjust Justin's pillow and slide him up further in bed with Lindsay's help.

“Guys…” Justin started. It was clear by the tone of his voice that he was getting more then aggravated.

“Justin. You’ll be coming home with me.” Jennifer stated in her best motherly tone.

“No. You’ll coddle me too death.” The blonde muttered.

“Well, that settles it. You're coming home with me.” Retorted the redhead.

“No. You’ll try and fatten me up and then, mom will just come over there and coddle me. And before you say it, Lindsay. NO. You and Mel have your hands full.” 

Justin moved to slide out of the bed and he was immediately surrounded by the three women 

“Shit. Can’t I take a piss in fucking peace?!” He suddenly exclaimed. 

It was obvious, that being stuck in the hospital for three days was starting to wear his nerves thin. And who could really blame him? It was only a year ago, when he had been in this hospital and now here he is again. He felt like screaming or throwing something or _someone_ , as the current case may be. He finally managed to get to the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind him. After all, he had been feeling his way to it, since day one, with Brian coaxing him along and telling him exactly how many steps to take. 

The three women just looked at each other and sighed sadly. 

“It’s not fucking fair.” Griped Debbie.

“It’s tragic.” Bemoaned Lindsay. “He won’t be able to paint.”

Jennifer shook her head sadly. “My poor baby.”

Justin had overheard the entire conversation, since they didn’t notice, that he had opened the door. He half stumbled, half walked back to the bed, slapping away any hands offering assistance.

“Life ain't fucking fair. But, you deal with it and move the fuck on.” His head turned towards the doorway. 

Despite not being able to see a damn thing, he sensed Brian’s presence in the room. 

“And I will see again. Right, Bri?”

Brian wasn`t yet sure himself at this point, but he would give the best of himself to make it happen. He simply had to. Otherwise, if Justin fell into depression, entire situation would prolong itself indefinitely, and maybe they would never beat this damn thing. 

"Of course, Sunshine. You know that the two of us don`t back down from a fight. Never had." He couldn`t help but grin at the satisfied smile Justin sent his way, without even being sure where that exactly was. 

"We can beat anything together." He added with a renewed belief in the good outcome.

At once, the women in the room sent ugly look in Brian`s general direction. He simply starred them down, and soon, the battle of eyes was won with a point for Brian/Justin team. Suddenly, a nurse came into the room and started to fuss around Justin`s bed. 

"Justin, do you need anything, before the doctor comes to see how you`re doing?" Justin shook his head. 

"I`m sorry, but you will have to leave now. Doctor is going into visits and it`s about the time for Justin`s check up." Justin panicked a little, but only Brian saw it. He knew Justin`s body language even better than his own. 

"Excuse me, nurse, but can I wait outside the room until the doctor finishes? I would like to talk to Justin alone about something." The woman thought for a moment, and then nodded. 

"Alright, you can, but, please, don`t stay too long. He needs his rest." Brian nodded. Then, he stood up and walked to Justin`s bed. He whispered something into Justin`s ear, and in return, he got a bright, sunshine smile, along with a small nod. 

"Ok, ladies, let's leave the premises." Brian stood behind the three of them and pushed them gently toward the door. 

It seemed for a split moment, that they wouldn't leave without a fight, but at the last moment, the reason prevailed. And four of them left the room, Brian closing the door behind.

As he laid there, Justin was nervous, but he had to believe. He had already came through so much in the last year and he was not about to let this hold him back. The doctor came into the room shortly after the other four had left the room and began his examination with, of course, Justin wanting to know when the hell he could go home. 

“I don’t see why I can’t go home now, Doctor Adams. There is nothing more you can do for me. You said yourself, that it was a matter of time. Whether it’s a week, two weeks, months or even years, I am going to see again, Doc and staying here is not going to help me one damn bit.” 

Dr Adams had to agree with his patient, but he wanted to be cautious. 

“We’ll see first how these next tests run and then I will have a better idea of what we're up against.” He stated, beginning his examination.

Outside the room, Debbie narrowed her gaze on Brian. “What's the meaning behind this Brian?! Why are you giving our Sunshine false hope?!”

Brian tried to act cool. Cooler than a fucking cucumber, but women of the world always pushed all the right buttons to get him to fly off the handle. Annoyed at all three of them, he starred hard at each and every one for a very long minute. He knew, that he was making them uncomfortable, but who fucking cares! They deserved every little thing he did to them at this moment. 

"Are you even thinking about what you`re saying, Deb? How did you feel, when people told you something similar about Vic, when he was sick?" Deb looked down, ashamed. Still, she looked back at Brian and argued her case. 

"But, that is completely different and you know it! People said he would die either way! I could never give up on him like that. He is my brother." Brian nodded, trying to make her see what her words actually meant. 

"So, why the FUCK are you so fast to kill Justin`s optimism? He needs people around him to believe he will succeed. And he will hopefully pick up on that belief and strengthen his own resolve to succeed in beating this. And if all three of you will go on and on like this, as if he is a damn 3 year old, you better stay away, you hear? He needs a positive help, not mothering from either of you. GOD!" 

Finally, Brian lost his nerves and stalked away and down to the coffee machine. He wickedly needed an aspirin for the headache Deb just unknowingly provoked.

Of course, Debbie and Jennifer followed him. Lindsay knew better, then to try and talk to Brian, when he was like this. So, she excused herself and said she would be back later, picking up Gus from daycare her excuse. Debbie was not about to just let Brian walk away with the last word. Then again, she never did. Glaring hard at his back, she walked up to him and tapped him on his shoulder.

"Listen, you little asshole!" Her gaze narrowing on him. 

"He won't even accept help from his own mother and refuses to go home with her or me for that matter. So, are you willing to take off work and your busy schedule of blow jobs in the backroom and fucking every guy that moves, long enough to help out poor Sunshine? Because if not..." she wagged a finger at him "I'm going to kick your fucking ass!" 

Jennifer sighed, as she looked between the two of them. 

"I don't know what to say about any of this, Brian. He's just like after the bashing. He refuses to accept anyone’s help and practically has an anxiety attack, when you are gone from his room too long. I don't know if I like the idea of him being so dependent on you, but if you think..."

Jennifer didn’t get to finish talking, because Debbie butted in. 

"Sunshine has anxiety attacks?"

"Yes." replied Jennifer. "Except he hasn’t had any since the bashing and now it’s like he is reliving it all over again. Brian has been the only one able to calm him down. Then and now."

"You better show that kid how much he fucking means to you, Brian." Debbie snapped. 

"If you hurt him..." Her words trailing off, because he already knew the threat, that was coming.

Meanwhile, in the room, Justin was left all alone. Both the nurse and the doctor had left a good 15 minutes ago. Not that he was scared of being on his own exactly, but he somehow felt annoyingly lonesome. And all this fucking silence was so going on his nerves. He couldn`t even surf the channels, like he did at Brian's, when he had nothing better to do. He felt as if he was inside some dark cave. No light anywhere. No exit. Just him. Alone. As he was about to get up and go look for Brian, he heard the room door open. Suddenly, he smiled. 

"Hey, Bri. I was just getting up to look for you." Brian grinned and sat silently on the edge of Justin`s bed. 

Gently, Brian took his hand and played with his fingers for couple of moments. Both of them saying nothing. Finally, unable to stand the silence, Justin spoke.

"Um, Brian, where are they? My mom, Deb and Linds? Oh, my God… You scared them away, didn't you?" Justin laughed, knowing he would get a grin from Brian. He always did. It was like a secret language between two of them. Their Morse code, in a way. 

"You know, women are bad for you, Sunshine. So, I told them to go and preach to some other poor schmuck, cause you certainly don`t need their shit." It won him a loud laugh from the blond. 

"You are bad, Mr. Kinney. Like soooooo bad. You should be punished for that, you know." Brian just grinned at the playful mood Justin was in. Finally, maybe for the first time, he knew he did the right thing.

_Outside, in the hallway_

When Jennifer and Debbie both watched Brian walk off from them before, without saying a single word, though the weight of the world looked like it had been deposited on his shoulders. Debbie sighed.

“I just don’t know about those two, Jen.”

“I know Deb. I know.”

“But, I know that Brian loves that kid, as much as he can love anyone.” Debbie murmured.

The two women walked back towards Justin’s room, but they didn’t enter it. Instead, they stood outside and watched.

“Strange how he knows Brian is there and he can’t even see him.” Jennifer finally commented.

Debbie just shook her head. 

“I think Justin could find his way out of a fucking forest blindfolded, so long as he knew Brian was waiting at the end for him. I guess we’re not meant to understand what goes on with those two.” 

The two women, both with surprised looks on their faces, glanced in once more, just when Justin’s laughter suddenly filled out the hallway. 

“No, I don’t suppose we are.” Murmured Jennifer in agreement. “We should give them some time alone.” And with that, the two women headed for the cafeteria. 

_Meanwhile, inside the room_

"I just couldn’t stand all their coddling, ya know? It's not like I'm an invalid or anything. I know they want what’s best for me, but damnit....It's so frustrating, when they are around. I'd rather be blind and living in a paper box on the corner of Liberty, then go home with either of them. I know I'm going to get better. I have too....so I can paint...and so...." He drew in a deep breath. 

"God. I know I sound so lesbionic saying this, Brian, but one of my favorite past times was watching you and drawing you...." His words trailed off and he lifted a hand to gently feel his way upwards to Brian's face, curving his hand against the older males' cheek. 

"No matter how dark it gets for me, I still recognize you in the darkness, Bri."

***********

_4 days later - The Brian Kinney battleground; Alive 2 : Dead 0_

 

"Brian, can you get me the juice out of the fridge?" Justin screamed across the loft from his now usual parking place. The sofa. 

Brian rolled his eyes at him, standing by the window of the loft.

"Fuck, Justin, can you not yell so loud? You are blind, for fuck`s sake. Not DEAF!" 

As he said it, he already knew this will get ugly. Like Napoleon`s battle in Russia bad. And he would be left to bury both of their frozen bodies. Probably left in the same arguing position, that they were in now. Someone will probably have to detach his frozen, dead fingers from Justin`s pale neck. God, he needed a fucking drink...

"Plus, as far as I know, there is nothing wrong with either your legs or hands. So, take your butt off the damn sofa and WALK to the damn fridge!" 

He glanced at Justin, and he knew he was in for a long one this time.

"You know what, Brian, I thought you would HELP me, not put me down all day. If I wanted that, I could`ve stayed at Deb's!" 

Brian rolled his eyes and walked over to the sofa, sitting right beside Justin. Slowly, he took the boy`s hand in his own. 

"Do you want to go to your mom's? Because I want to help you as much as I can, and I know how frustrated you are, that nothing has changed yet. But, trust me, it will soon. " 

Justin sighed tiredly, obviously losing his optimism. 

"But, Brian, it has been a week already. What if I never get my sight back? I mean, how will I-..."

He swallowed hard. "What, Justin? How will you what?"

Justin looked up, unseeingly directing his bright blue eyes at Brian. 

"If I`m blind, what good am I for you? I mean, I`m dependent on your for everything. From walking around in here, to going outside. I can`t fucking do ANYTHING alone!" 

Brian shook his head and pulled Justin into his embrace. 

"Sunshine, listen to me. Are you listening?" 

Justin nodded, tears already in his clear eyes. 

"No matter what happens, you will never be without me by your side, alright? I will stand by you at all times." 

Justin slowly nodded, uncertain in the sincerity of Brian`s words, but he was so desperately willing to believe every little thing the man beside him said.

*******

_Two weeks later_

 

You couldn’t really call it a stare off, since one of the currently stubborn assholes residing in the loft was blind as a fucking bat, but the two had slipped into a morose silence for the last couple of hours and the constant pecking on the keyboard from Brian was starting to get on his last nerve.

“Could you stop fucking doing that?!” 

“What? Working at home, since I’m babysitting you, Sunshine?” 

“Fuck you.”

“Gladly Sunshine, but lately you’ve been more like a cloudy fucking day, rather then a rain of **fucking** Sunshine.”

“I’m blind, for Christ's sake!” Shouted back an irate Justin.

“And I’m fucking horny and I don’t see either of our situations getting relieved, until you quit fucking feeling sorry for yourself.” Stated Brian in those even quiet tones, that Justin hates so badly.

“Oh yeah. I’m fucking blind and I can never do what I love again, which is paint!” Shouted Justin clearly fuming.

“Oh and here I was thinking what you loved doing was me….or rather you loved me doing you.” Snarked Brian in typical tongue in cheek fashion, despite Justin not being able to see him.

“Wipe the fucking smirk off your face, Kinney.” Came the annoyed reply from Justin.

“Whatthefuckever.” Replied Brian, complete with eye roll and a deep sigh of frustration. 

Justin threw, what he hoped was a hateful glare in Brian’s direction.

“Sonny-boy…”

“FUCK. YOU.”

“Sunshine…”

“”Fuck you!”

“Jus- _tin_ …“

He tried his best to ignore that tone of voice. After a few seconds of silence, he finally replied.

“What?”

“You’re pretty fucking cute, when you’re angry, _dear_.“ 

Justin rolled his eyes and plopped down on the couch. 

“And you’re an asshole.”

“Twat.”

A soft giggle could be heard coming from the same area of the couch, that Justin was lying on and the quiet pecking on the keys, as Brian returned to work, no longer seemed to bother him.


	3. Chapter 3

  
Author's notes: *sighs* Ok, I wanted to offer my sincerest thanks from both of us for all the great feedback you guys left. You made us (May & Stace) very, very happy. Just keep doing that, ok? ;) Oh, and this is what we call a sexual healing. *lol*  


* * *

**CHAPTER THREE**

_This love is a strange love, strange love  
I'm gonna fall again love_

_One month later; Diner, 9 PM_

 

Amazed, Brian watches Justin’s hand work on the once blank paper. The boy still can‘t see, but it`s almost as if his fingers know exactly what they're doing. Unseeing blue eyes stare at the paper, the tips of his fingers gently smudging the lines, which are materializing slowly. If Brian is honest enough, he enjoys watching Justin draw. If he watches him long enough, he can almost feel every line, every curve, and every damn color on his own burning skin. The only problem is, that things aren’t so fucking sunshiny between them lately. Justin’s health situation didn’t get miraculously better, and both the frustration and the anxiety is killing them softly. So softly, that Brian is seriously worried for Justin’s and his own state of mind. 

 

Of course, there is not really much, that Brian can do, but he does know one thing. Both of them need a good fuck so badly, or they will kill each other before the morning. Especially, since this calming moment is the first one in two weeks. God! Justin might be blind, but he throws things at Brian as if he was equipped with his own freaking radar! The latest screaming matches could win them the damn Olympic medals. Well, if there was such a discipline at the Olympics. 

 

So, after taking all that into consideration, Brian started to make a plan. Few days ago, he bought everything that he would need. Ok, everything he didn’t already have at home, because the toy chest was always their favorite stop. And tonight, come hell or high water, he, Brian fucking Kinney will fuck the hell out of Justin Sunshine Taylor. 

 

Even if that’s the last thing he does.

 

The blonde can feel it. The heat of a stare baring down on him, that weighs a ton. It actually makes him stop what he's doing and look up at Brian, despite not being able to see him. 

 

“Whatever it is, spill it, Kinney.” mutters Justin. 

 

He slides the paper away from himself and drums his fingers lightly on the surface of the table. 

 

“Not hungry,” comes his response, when Deb waltzed over to take their orders.

 

In fact, he resembles a rather petulant child, that wasn’t getting his way. Then without so much as a go to hell or goodbye, he slides from the booth and blindly makes his way to the front door like an old pro. Only reason he doesn’t slam the door open on anyone is, because they were already getting the hell out of his way. A disgruntled blonde was one thing to deal with, but when its Justin, who was with Brian…well, nothing else really needs to be said. The drawing pencil in his hand sails through the air, skittering across the sidewalk and finally rolling to a stop. Above all his problems, he`s fucking horny as hell and it`s driving him insane.

 

Brian sighs and rolls his eyes, pushing his own way out of the booth. He throws a $20 on the table and grabs Justin`s jacket off the back of the booth in silence. 

 

"Brian, tell Sunshine we love him!", follows him out the door, while he speeds up his step. 

 

"Hey, Justin... Fucking WAIT!!!", frustrated, he yells after the blond, hurrying after the small ticking bomb. 

 

Justin stops and silently waits, until Brian has caught with him and without a word, they walk toward the car. 

 

"Listen, you wanna grab a drink at Babylon? Perhaps dance a little? It might help you to relax.“ Brian whispers into Justin`s hair, nuzzling the locks lightly, his arms pulling the small body closer. 

 

A few moments are spent weighing their possibilities, and finally, Justin nods, his body a nervous mess. It isn`t nothing really extreme. Its simply the set of Justin`s shoulders, the way he squeezes Brian`s hand just a little too tightly. But Brian understands it all, so he just kisses Justin`s warm temple and pushes him toward the jeep. 

 

"Everything will be all right. You`ll see." He whispers into Justin`s shoulder. At first, he isn’t sure the message is received. But then, slowly, Justin's shoulders begin to relax, until he is nothing but a relaxed mass of flesh and bones in the front seat of Brian`s jeep.

 

Justin sits there in silence for most of the drive. True, hes more relaxed than he had been back at the diner. But, other parts of him, well a certain part of him have a mind of its own. He's horny and its killing him. His head lolls against the seat, turning so he's facing Brian. Blindly, he reaches out and finds Brian’s hand and with no hesitation or even any shyness, he manages to pull his lovers hand, until its resting on his upper thigh. And ever so slowly slides it further up until Brian can feel exactly whats wrong with the blonde. 

 

“I want you to fuck me into the mattress,” moans Justin, lips full and lush parting with the slightest hint of desire. 

 

_“Brian…..”_

 

A pink velvet tongue darts forth to lick across those luscious lips, the sheen of moisture adding to their plumpness. He pushes Brian’s hand harder against his crotch and grinds his hips in an upward motion, as he pushes his lovers hand downwards. 

 

“Fuck me.” 

 

The sound of his words holds the same tone of seductive heat, that makes Brian reminiscence of one specific night. The night he had thought to teach Justin a lesson about the danger of going home with strangers by pretending to choke the blonde. But, he’d only managed to make the teen hornier than he’d already been.

 

Brian glances quickly at Justin and all is clear. He steps on the gas and actually starts to pray for some divine help. By the time they are parked in front of the building, Brian already pushes the three red lights and an almost victim of his Nascar worthy drive home. A homeless guy, whose only mistake was, that he found himself in the direct line of his black jeep. The weird thing is, that the way Justins looking at him, eye fucking him during the entire ride...It was driving him fucking crazy! He could see himself manhandling Justin out of the freaking car and nailing him to the wall, right inside of the elevator. He could almost feel it. 

 

His cock buried so deep inside of Justin`s ass...His fingers leaving deep imprints on slim, pale hips, as he drove himself deeper and deeper with the desperation, that only Justin has been able to provoke. 

 

In a blink of an eye, he's out of the car, slam of the door ringing into the night. He hurries to Justin`s side. The blond is already pushing out of the vehicle, a devilish grin on his beautiful features only causing Brian`s jeans to grow even more uncomfortable around the crotch area. 

 

"Hurry up, Sunshine..." He whispers and pulls Justin inside the building and into the elevator. Before the elevator even starts, Brian`s hand is sliding inside of Justin`s pants, his warm palm already found its rhythm around the thick shaft, burning the soft, velvety skin of Sunshine`s cock.

 

“Oh God…Brian…” 

 

Full lips part beneath the weight of his moans and gasping for air. Brians hand wraps around his cock, sending ripples of heat slamming through his entire body. His head falls forward against his lovers chest. One hand clutches the front of Brian’s shirt, while the other dips lower to unbutton and unzip the brunettes jeans. His own slender fingers slide just inside the band of his lovers pants, tips brushing across the hard cock. The only thing stopping him is the sudden jolting stop of the elevator, signaling they had almost reached their destination. Blindly, hes being led, stumbling towards the front door. Too many damn seconds pass by, before he is jerked inside and then roughly shoved against the loft door after it`s slid shut. 

 

“Fuck me hard.” He growls out between clenched teeth, just before those plush lips are assaulted by Brian’s brutal and heated kiss. One hand threads through Brian’s dark hair and the other drifts back to its earlier destination, down the front of Brian’s jeans to full wrap his fingers around his lovers hard cock, the pre-cum helping the sensual slide along.

 

In the complete darkness of the loft, the scorching hands are the only thing that makes him feel alive, makes him feel whole. The small caresses, that Justin bestows upon his overheated skin, has him closing his eyes in sweet agony. 

 

"Fuck, Sunshine...", he mumbles into the dark, the fireworks already going off behind his eyelids. Their lips fused together, tongues leading, by now, a familiar battle. And although both of them know who will end up on top, Brian loves every second of it. 

 

Blindly, he pulls Justin to the beam in the center of the loft. It`s something that happens without any conscious decision on his part, but somehow, and he`s sure of it, their bodies know exactly what needs to be done. Not so long ago, Brian was fucking his Sunshine against this very beam for all the wrong reasons. Not anymore, he decides. Tonight, Justin will grab onto that beam for all the right reasons, while Brian slides inside him. 

 

The air around them is hot and wet, their skin already covered with sweat, when Brian pulls Justin`s jeans down in one swift move. And Brian realizes now, that Justin is all that he thinks about. All he wants. Right here. Right now. He`s not really sure how he feels about that realization, but it`s the fucking fact of life and fucking is what Brian does. Justin whimpers against his neck, and Brian doesn`t think anymore. Because Justin is here and he`s now, and as he slides inside of Justin`s ass, latex and lube already applied, all his decisions fly out the window and his mind goes completely blank.

 

Justin clutches onto the beam like his life depends on it. His anal walls stretching, as Brian fills him completely. His lips part and loud groans of pleasure rumble up inside of him, tumbling out into the stillness of the apartment. He can feel teeth and hands marking his skin, drawing him to that peak of bliss, of which he doesn`t want to return from. Moments pass and all that’s heard is the sound of their heavy breathing. Hands clutching his hips, no doubt to leave bruises for tomorrow, that he’ll never see. He forces himself from those thoughts, as he grinds out between clenched teeth 

 

“Harder”, and Brian answers by ramming into that tight ass of his, forcing him fully against the beam. The cold steel meets his heated skin, creating a shiver of anticipation of what’s to come. Their bodies like one, driving to a higher point of being, completeness and an utter sense of perfect, that Justin will never speak out loud. He refuses to open his eyes only to see the darkness. Instead, he focuses on the feel and the sensation of their bodies joined, drawing from memory the color of Brian’s skin, as a heated flush envelopes him. Its there, as the ebb and flow starts to finally subside and Brian’s hand gives one last stroke to his cock. Suddenly, that lightning zigzags behind his eye lids, his come staining the steel in front of him. Hips rocking against his own, as Brian seconds later finds his climax and groans heavily into Justin’s shoulder. Justin takes that moment to open his eyes, knowing he would be welcoming in the darkness, but his whole body freezes. He`s as tense as the metal in front of him.

 

“Oh fuck!” he exclaims all of a sudden. 

 

Brian pulls out of Justin, just in time for the dumbfounded blonde to turn around and stare up at him. Hands reach out to craddle Brian’s face within their warmth. Something he’d done so many times before losing his sight, but hadn’t after losing it. 

 

“I can see you….”

 

When Justin`s words penetrate the fog around his mind, Brian stops breathing. It seems like an eternity, but it`s really just a moment. He knows what that means and he would jump from joy right now, but that`s not him. Brian Kinney doesn`t jump for joy. Instead, he just pulls Justin closer, kisses his soft lips and holds him tight. No more words are spoken that night, because words can`t really describe what he feels, or what he knows. Words will never be able to describe who Justin is. But that`s ok. There are a hundred other ways to get the point across, and Brian plans to use them all on Justin. And one day, he hopes, Justin will just... _know_.


End file.
